Cody Parkey And The Cleveland Browns Are A Match Made In Heaven

According to reports, Cody Parkey might be back and kicking in an actual primetime game on Thursday night. As a Bears fan, I have a special amount of hate in my heart for Cody Parkey.

Not only did this man ruin what could have been an interesting playoff run for the Bears with his infamous “double doink.” But he then had the gall to go on The Today Show the next day to talk about how “football isn’t who he is but what he does” or some bullshit like that.

[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WG8RRTMfo2k[/embedyt]

It wasn’t bad enough that this guy had to ruin the best Bears season since 2006, but then he had to use the spotlight for a real “look at me” moment. Well, due to this being the actual darkest days in NFL history for field goal kickers (see Randy Bullock nearly snapping his leg trying to tie the game yesterday), Cody Parkey has stayed relevant.

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Cody Parkey’s Shot at Redemption

As luck would have it, the team where ego and clout reign supreme over actually winning football games, wants to give Cody Parkey a shot at redemption. This just feels right to me. Parkey and the Cleveland Browns are more of a match than PB&J. The Cleveland Browns are a team that gets more airtime on TMZ than Sportscenter. They make their headlines when one of their players’ weird sexual fetishes comes out, or Baker Mayfield says something that sounds kind of cool, but they don’t actually win.

In other words, Cleveland is a perfect spot for Cody Parkey. He can go out there, and whether he makes or misses the kick, he can trot off the field with his head held high knowing that nobody really cares and his team is going nowhere. After all, football is just what he does and not who he is.

Seriously though, if Cody Parkey suits up for the Browns on Thursday night against the Bengals, I’m putting my money of Joe Burrow leaving Cleveland with his first NFL win.

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