Noted Dumbf*ck Aubrey Huff Dumbf*cks Again; Dr. Huff “Would Rather Die Than Wear a Mask”

Former American League right field errors leader (2003) and current social media mouthpiece, Aubrey Huff, was trending late Tuesday night for all the wrong reasons. In a video posted to his social media profile, Huff went on a ridiculous, idiotic, unscientific, unpatriotic, dangerous rant attempting to explain precisely why he’s not human enough to wear a mask to combat Coronavirus at the grocery store any longer.

(We’ll be tweeting this one at him, too, you don’t have to ask.)

https://twitter.com/aubrey_huff/status/1273018665391099904?s=20

This jackass just doesn’t get it. We’re all for athletes stating their case, but there’s a difference between having a fact-based opinion and just spouting off about nonsense and spreading dangerous lies. The misinformation in this rant could literally kill someone. Wearing a mask is about having the humanity to help curb the spread of the disease so that it doesn’t kill another few hundred thousand or more Americans. But Huff is either too stupid to understand or too cold to care.

A few highlights, in case you’re somewhere that you shouldn’t play that video. Like fucking planet Earth.

His overall point seems to be based on a child’s misunderstanding of the Constitution. Although Huff does seem like the type of guy to protest both the no shirt and no shoes part of a store’s “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service” rule too.

https://twitter.com/aubrey_huff/status/1272545366773096453?s=20

Huff is “no longer willing to comply” and says that “if you have a pre-existing condition or you’re an old person or you’re morbidly obese, that’s your plight in life, and stay the fuck home.” It must be nice to not care about anyone in the entire world to the degree that you know and love no old, sick or fat people. Way to truly set yourself apart from humanity, Aubrey Huff. What a guy.

https://twitter.com/aubrey_huff/status/1272938390397218818?s=20

At another point in the video Huff says “I understand the coronavirus is real” which I’m really not sure he means, and can say for sure he does not understand. Another thing that I’m going to just go ahead and say is entirely made up is Huff’s story about when he was at the grocery store and “These two ladies were checking me out,” like I said, this is immediately definitely true.

“They were both wearing masks,” he continues, “and I like to make people like that smile. But you couldn’t even see the wrinkles in their eyes, they looked all beat down and run down.” OK, that last part actually does sound like the type of woman who might eye up an Alex Jones rant given human form like Aubrey Huff.

Actor and New Yorker Ben Stiller chimed in to share a little science that I can say with total confidence Aubrey Huff did not read.

Boring science bullshit: https://t.co/3J5MlqEUKA

— Ben Stiller (@BenStiller) June 16, 2020

And others were quick to correct Huff’s fundamental misunderstanding of basic civics.

You, ummm, don't know what the Constitution is, do you?

I'll let my favorite comedian @SteveHofstetter explain the concept. Because he reads, you know, books. You should try that sometime, Aubrey. pic.twitter.com/PgfsM6Fkgs

— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) June 16, 2020

Aubrey Huff’s idiotic, unpatriotic video ended with a claim that “It’s not healthy to wear a mask and breathe in your CO2 all day,” which you are absolutely not doing unless you’re wearing a really weird mask, and even then probably upside-down or something. That’s just not how this works. You know what’s unhealthy to breathe in? The fucking coronavirus.

Huff would close by saying that “it seems like everyone is a corona virus expert out there…” No, Aubrey Huff, not everyone. I can think of at least one washed up ex-ballplayer who fantasy owners best remember as “nah, I don’t need him, maybe there’s a bad pitcher I can pick up instead” level waiver-wire fodder who most definitely does not seem like a corona virus expert.

Listen to doctors, not the idiots on either side. It’s easy to wear a mask, you’re doing it for others. Have some basic decency, humanity, and common sense. Or be Aubrey Huff.

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