Celtics’ Vincent Poirier Asked What He’s Done During Quarantine, Says He’s Called “Vinny Sex Pants” For A Reason

What have you been doing for fun while social distancing?@viinze_17P: “All I can say is they call me Vinny Sex Pants for a reason.”

@EnesKanter: 🤦🏻‍♂️

Me: “And we have our promo clip!”

An all new The Enes Kanter Show.

🎧 https://t.co/S8g6vzw34y
📺 https://t.co/il6aR22nwU pic.twitter.com/vy5Cvbjpbl

— Chris Forsberg (@ChrisForsberg_) May 8, 2020

Vincent Poirier didn’t see a ton of action this season for the Celtics with their glut of competent big men. Despite that lack of run, he’s still a wealthy professional athlete who’s seemingly got some sense of style and a swarthy French accent. So it certainly doesn’t surprise me to hear that he’s dabbling in adult activities during the time off, enough to earn the nickname “Vinny Sex Pants”. That’s exactly the kind of investigative journalism I’ve come to expect from The Enes Kanter Show. Vanity podcast? Hell no. Enes Kanter not only plays defense like Walter Kronkite, he gets to the bottom of a big news item just like him too.

And it’s hard to dislike this branding for Poirer. I’d hope he approaches his quarantine sexcapades more safely, in every respect, than Earl Thomas. But, as Brent Barry can tell you, there’s no creature alive more sensual than a French basketball player. The city of lights churns out guys who can go hard on the court and off. And if you’re not getting a workout on the court, you’ve got to find it somewhere.

Vincent Sex Pants nee Poirier is a player to watch, whether it be on the court or talking to your girl off of it. All he has left to do is make sure that his new self-appointed nickname makes his Basketball Reference page as the most impressive part of his career thus far. It still wouldn’t even be the most ridiculous nickname on there:

Big Burrito? The player from Spain, a place not known for its burritos, should not be known as Big Burrito. Big Tapas Plate, The Large Malbec, El Grande Sangria, sure. But Big Burrito? Never. I’ll take Vinny Sex Pants over that one 10 times out of 10.