Christmas Decorations Honor UT Coach Jeff Banks, His Stripper Girlfriend, Emotional Support Monkey

Tis the season.

Remember when Texas Longhorns Special Teams Coach Jeff Banks and his stripper girlfriend, the “Pole Assassin,” had their pet monkey out and it allegedly attacked a trick or treater on Halloween?

🤣😂You CAN NOT make this 💩 up!!!!😂🤣

The Longhorns just hired Jeff Banks who left his wife and kids to be with a stripper named Pole Assassin who has been on Jerry Springer and has a pet monkey who is a part of her stripping act!🤣😂

Which ‘Core Value’ is this again!?🤣😂🤣 pic.twitter.com/h4tujmTfQn

— Clayton Mott (@MottThunder2) January 15, 2021

Well, that really struck a chord with one Christmas decorator, who turned that warming narrative into a holiday lawn decor miracle.

See below:

The North Pole Assassin pic.twitter.com/fQz1ElG5Vr

— Doug Keegan (@doug_keegan) December 12, 2021

Twitter reacted to the decorations:

Fantastic https://t.co/d9K5RMLzQZ

— BMPickering (@GACyclone91) December 13, 2021

Christmas decoration of the year https://t.co/Xw2EXRnY9H

— OutCYde the Lines (@OutCYdeTheLine) December 13, 2021

Brilliant. https://t.co/E8geUoptae

— Unnecessary Roughness (@UnnecRoughness) December 13, 2021

This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time! https://t.co/X8Ab9gID47

— Vicki (@VickiHullabaloo) December 13, 2021

Just when you think OU fans can't up their pettiness game anymore… https://t.co/4GMMqUK44g

— LASooner (@TheLASooner) December 13, 2021

This may be the greatest thing I’ve ever seen https://t.co/JLk7Mztr9T

— Cale Buchman (@cmbuchman) December 13, 2021

I. AM. DEAD. https://t.co/MD5QAsrVuD

— Big Bad Bear (@CoxHerb) December 13, 2021

https://twitter.com/SICEMBALL/status/1470380491765395460

The winner of Twitter for 2021 https://t.co/7cfW5Z9Upl

— Blayne Gilmer (@BGilmer18) December 13, 2021

Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction. That story is absurd but real.

What a way to honor Banks and his stripper girlfriend, and most of all, her pet monkey.

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