NYC Health Has Weird Suggestions For People Who Want Casual Sex During The COVID-19 Pandemic

New York City has started to flatten its COVID-19 curve in recent weeks after being one of the country’s most affected regions. Perhaps emboldened by that hot run, NYC released a series of guidelines in regards to having sex during the pandemic with some real highlights:

NYC Health advice discourages casual sex during COVID, but also says if you’re going to have it: “Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close face to face contact.” https://t.co/3GG3C2dzTm

— Josh Barro (@jbarro) June 10, 2020

Heere are some more of NYC’s juicier guidelines for sex during COVID-19 times from the full pamphlet:

That is a whole lot to throw at the poor blue-balled people of New York City.

Obviously, the condoms part makes sense. No kissing? A staple of prostitute handbooks since the Biblical times. I’ve hated the times I’ve ran outside wearing a mask so I can’t imagine I’d love it during sexy times (even though, admittedly, sex would be a much shorter burst of cardio).

But the wall thing certainly jumps out. Are we advocating for the return of glory holes as part of our average sexcapades? I’m pretty sure New York City spent years getting rid of those in Times Square. And, while I appreciate the attentiveness to butt play, it hardly feels like rimjobs should be the No. 2 topic on the menu. In fact, I’d generally prefer feces not enter the conversation at all other than when things get rote and you need some 2 Girls, 1 Cup roleplay. Perhaps NYC could have advocated for some chocolate fro-yo in those situations instead? Really cover all the bases.

Brooklyn Bridge photo via Wikimedia

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