An Angry Dad Sent His Daughter’s First Love An Absolutely Insane Letter For ‘Stealing Her Honor’ Via Sex A Decade Ago

First off, here’s the background from one of the friends of the Virtue Stealer in question:

One of my best and oldest friends broke up with his high school girlfriend over a decade ago. Today, his wife of 7 years found this absolute ornament in their mailbox.

Just…stop what you're doing and read…🤯🤯🤯 pic.twitter.com/QnvDUkROu4

— Isaac Robert (@isaactweeting) May 28, 2020

And here’s the letter itself:

The dad in the letter refers to “years of searching,” which seems like an awwwwfully long time to think about your daughter getting poorly plowed by some high school dude. But he’s clearly put a lot of thought into this letter regarding a decade-old sex act and I, for one, will not degrade that effort. He could have used MLA attribution styles for more clarity but hey, I’ll take what I can get in my lengthy insane screeds.

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And if you read through that entire thing, you have to be pretty excited for the dad who wrote the letter. He’s apparently invoked the powers of God to institute some sort of gypsy style curse that will age the “fornicator” by 49 years while making him 49 years younger. It seems perhaps a bit selfish of this dad to make the punishment all about him rather than his daughter who seems legally owed one (1) restored hymen. But that’s the Bible for you. A book written by dads, for dads.

Also this is a pretty tough way for this guy (and his now-wife) to find out that he’ll be subjected for eternal damnation. In sex ed class they always teach you that the act of sex can have life-long consequences. But normally that’d refer to an unwanted pregnancy or some sort of incurable disease rather than “eternal torment in Hell.” This is what happens when you separate church and state, I guess. I’ve lived my life worried about getting a Q-tip shoved in undesirable locations and, instead, I should have embraced the burning pee and worried more about my fiery flesh in Hell. With age comes perspective, I suppose.

Either way, I’m just glad these two men could work out all of the relevant issues involving a woman’s body. Sounds like our government, am I right ladies?????

https://giphy.com/gifs/twitter-us-womens-twittersports-J4lv24hTULiazz9A28