Gender Reveal Party Sparks California Wildfire

Wildfires, pipe bombs, explosions, plane crashes, all synonymous with love, have been recent results of parents-to-be telling family and friends the sex of their unborn baby at parties known as gender reveals. On Saturday morning, a family giddy with emotions, gathered to have a gender reveal party so extreme that it sparked a California wildfire that has burned 10,000 acres.

Imagine how loved that child will feel when they find out their parents were willing to burn down their own state just to show everyone that they were having a sweet little baby boy. Everybody knows that if you reveal a life you have at least try to take a life. It’s like the hunger games, but with glitter. Will the cake explode? Will there be pink and blue rubber bullets? Keep your head on a swivel if you must attend a gender reveal party.

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https://twitter.com/jbillinson/status/1302987477855199232?s=20

https://twitter.com/jbillinson/status/1302988485582782467?s=20

At this point either make gender reveal parties a competitive extreme sport aired on ESPN in mid-July or outlaw them. I can see it now on ESPN right after the belly flop contests. If you make it out of a gender reveal alive, you get a $50 gift card to Buffalo Wild Wings and a voucher for a deposit bonus on a new Draft Kings account.

The woman who started the trendy parties, Jenna Karvunidis, recently said “If you enjoy having a party, there’s no stopping that. Parents get enough flak as it is, and I’m not trying to stop anyone from having a good time. But maybe not setting up such an expectation, that’s all. And maybe not setting off fireworks and burning down a forest.”

She’s right. Don’t set off fireworks during fire season, try not to get anyone killed, avoid maiming any neighbors…all pretty good rules to live by and definitely things to avoid during a party. I don’t want to have to be scared to go outside because Nancy down the street might decide to shoot me with a pink or blue dart to show her family that she is procreating. Nobody having these parties should even be trusted with a child, let alone responsible for one. What happened to just waiting to find out the sex of the baby? Finding out the sex of your baby at the hospital is nature’s gender reveal. Do that. Or how about you read the room, take a look at 2020, and see that nobody should be having children.

But when you look at the photo below… I do get why people like a small chance of death at these parties, that looks like my idea of hell.

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