Porn Star Nacho Vidal Gets Arrested In What, Somehow, Might Actually Be The Most Insane Headline Of 2020

I don’t think they give out Pulitzer Prizes for tweets. But if they do, the AFP’s Hazel Ward may very well be a shoo-in for that tour de force on the arrest of Nacho Vidal. Here’s the story itself for all the diehard Nachomaniacs out there:

A porn star has been arrested on manslaughter charges following a man’s death during a mystic ritual in which he inhaled psychedelic toad venom, Spanish police said Wednesday.

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Nacho Vidal was detained last week in the southeastern Valencia region in connection with the death of a man in July 2019.

“The police operation began following the victim’s death during the celebration of a mystic ritual based on the inhalation of venom of the bufo alvarius toad,” a police statement said.

The toad, a rare species which is native to the Sonoran Desert, stretching from northern Mexico into California and Arizona, secretes venom containing a very powerful natural psychedelic substance known as 5-MeO-DMT.

But in reality, this “apparently harmless ancestral ritual” posed a “serious health risk”, luring people who were “easily influenced, vulnerable or who were seeking help for illnesses or addictions using alternative methods”.

Local press said the ceremony took place in the country residence of Vidal, a media-savvy porn star in his mid-40s whose Twitter feed is full of ads for his 25-centimetre aromatic candles of the male genitalia, available in black, white or cerise.

I admit I’m not unfamiliar with the name Nacho Vidal, though I can’t say I’m acutely aware of his collected works. But this is certainly a tough turn of events for a guy with such a diverse portfolio. Adult films, 10-inch (go to hell Metric system) long dick candles, hallucinogens, cultlike rituals…it really seems like Nacho Vidal had a little bit of something for everybody.

Either way, I’d say there’s a pretty decent chance that it’s a good idea to avoid any and all “mystic rituals” that anyone offers you. Even if they are an internet famous porn star with completely average sized ( 😉 ) dong candles. The temptation can be strong but next time I’ll be sure to think twice if Ron Jeremy comes over trying to perform the Kalima ritual from Indiana Jones:

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