Osama Bin Laden in Crowd for Leeds United Soccer Game; Cutout Crowds Becoming Problem

As sports gradually return around the world, teams are dealing with an unexpected twist while playing in empty stadiums: problematic cardboard cutout fans. While COVID-19 has kept social distancing requirements in place for most of the planet, sports teams have been playing in stadiums and arenas without fans in attendance. It can be tough to get used to when you watch games on T.V. and I’m sure the experience is strange for the players.

Teams have taken different approaches to this issue. The Korean Baseball Organization has been playing in mostly empty stadiums since early May, only filling in the area behind home plate with cardboard cut-out fans, and piping in crowd music. FC Seoul, of the Korean K1 League, took a different approach to filling their seats, which landed them in some hot water all the way back in mid-May, which you may remember from five years ago.

2016 K League winners FC Seoul inadvertently used sex dolls rather than fashion mannequins to help fill empty stands this weekend. The club has apologised. Both the club and the supplier are pointing fingers at others. (It's not just COVID-19 you need to avoid catching!) #kleague pic.twitter.com/59rSU8XxYL

— Devon Rowcliffe 🌍⚽🏴‍☠️ (@WhoAteTheSquid) May 17, 2020

The club would scramble to make excuses for exactly how this happened, but no matter the spin there’s just no way someone accidentally carried a few dozen life-size human sex dolls into the stands and posed them as fans. As the idea of filling stadiums with fan analogs began to catch on it would quickly become clear that the sex dolls were going to be the least of anyone’s concerns.

All around the world, teams began selling their fans the ability to print their photos out on cardboard seat-fillers that would be placed in the stands. From Australian Rugby to Bundesliga soccer, teams were able to give the illusion of a full house, making the familiar games feel a bit more like normal.

Welcome to BORUSSIA-PARK! 🏟️

Today's fans have already taken their seats 👥#GladToBeBach #BMGB04 pic.twitter.com/xMNG7c8hcU

— Gladbach (@borussia_en) May 23, 2020

Of course, this being the actual world and not one where only uplifting things happen, people worldwide were quick to take advantage of the opportunity for whatever you want to call these, I refuse to refer to them as jokes, pranks, or comedy gone wrong.

As if there’s a cardboard cutout of Harold Shipman in the stands at the Aussie Rugby League! 🥴 #NRLPanthersKnights pic.twitter.com/GrAQW4q5I7

— Paul Davey (@heathenhouse) May 31, 2020

The circled happy-go-lucky-looking guy sitting just to the left of the girl with the disproportionately large cardboard cutout head and behind the gentleman deliberately crossing his eyes is English serial killer Harold Shipman. Shipman, also known as Dr. Death, because headline writers can be lazy too, was a physician who had a bad habit of murdering those in his care. Since sports fans are into stats and records, here’s a grim one, that cheap knockoff version of Robin Williams from Good Will Hunting that someone decided to put into this crowd is modern history’s most prolific murderer, with 218 confirmed victims and potentially as many as 250.

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Not to be outdone, a show airing on Fox Sports Australia took the body count and awfulness up by a few million notches. In a segment that actually aired, meaning at least a few dozen people saw this concept and said “yeah, that’s smart, funny and entirely appropriate,” the show did this with their cutout comedy:

Really @FOXNRL? That’s the joke you’re going to go with? That’s your gag? Hitler? You sure? You vetted that joke, and settled on Hitler. pic.twitter.com/dsykhBLEJx

— Laurie Horesh (@LaurieHoresh) May 31, 2020

No, not Joker, the show, Sunday Night with Matty Johns, created a photo-shopped image of Hitler sitting with the other cardboard fans, because if you’re trying to give people a break from the terrors of their real world, a little genocide is a great way to go. Apologizing for joking about the most awful madman to walk the planet, Fox would say “Fox Sports is very concerned by an incident involving an inappropriate image shown as part of a segment discussing NRL crowd cutouts.” Johns would add “The segment on my Fox League show on Sunday in which we showed an image of Hitler in the crowd cutouts was in poor taste and completely inappropriate. I know Fox Sports has apologised but I need to personally step up to this. I know how raw and devastating those events remain for so many people and families.” Why do people always remember these things they know, or act like the person they “truly are in my heart” after doing the terrible thing?

Of course, the bigger problem with doing classic bits like the ol’ Adolf in the crowd, people tend to rip you off. The hacks come out of the woodwork and just don’t do as good a job. It just doesn’t get much funnier than Hit … oh … oh, I see …

Tremendous effort from whoever actually paid English pounds just to have Bin Laden sit in the Leeds crowd. pic.twitter.com/XhEZd87Vqw

— Elliot Hackney (@ElliotHackney) June 24, 2020

Yep, that’s Osama Bin Laden as a cutout. Perpetrator of the 9/11 attacks, leader of Al Qaeda and beard enthusiast. Apparently he’s also a big fan of the Leeds United soccer team in England’s EFL Championship (one step below the Premier League) because his cutout was in the crowd for Thursday’s action. So not only did someone pay good money thinking this would be hilarious, people from the team either agreed or were too stupid to recognize one of the most infamous faces of the last century.

The team issued a statement, telling the BBC they would “ensure there are no more offensive images” which is a statement that should never have to include the word “more.”

If this is what the rest of the world is doing with their fan comedy, I just can’t wait to see what happens when sports start coming back in this country. What creative and hilarious things will Americans add to this mix? Oh, right …

Rolling protest at Talladega Superspeedway by group opposed to NASCAR’s Confederate Flag ban https://t.co/8wFaNb10Xx

— Robert Roberson (@RobJosRob3) June 21, 2020

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