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Vince McMahon is What Happens When Hatred of Sneezing Goes Too Far

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Vince McMahon is the most fascinating human specimen. That exact sentence has been said more times than Austin 3:16 with endearing inflection

Vince McMahon is the most fascinating human specimen. That exact sentence has been said more times than Austin 3:16 with endearing inflection

ESPN -WWE halted its scheduled tapings Tuesday, sources confirmed to ESPN, after announcing Monday that a developmental talent had tested positive for the coronavirus.

The individual who tested positive was at the WWE Performance Center in Orlando, Florida, on June 9 as a member of the audience during tapings of a WWE show. That individual has not been at the Performance Center since then, WWE said.

“Since that time, no other individuals that attended the facility have reported symptoms,” said Dr. Jeffrey Dugas, WWE’s associate medical director. “However, out of an abundance of caution and to ensure the health and safety of the company’s performers and staff, all talent, production crew and employees on site at the training and production facilities will be tested for COVID-19 immediately. Following the test results, WWE plans to proceed with its normal television production schedule.”

Vince McMahon is the most fascinating of human specimen. That exact verbatim sentence has been said more times than Austin 3:16, usually with an endearing inflection like “I can’t believe someone this interesting and quirky and idiosyncratic and entertaining exists.” The way it should be inflected is:

“Who the fuck came up with this idea for a person?”

There are countless stories of Vince McMahon’s bizarre routines, opinions, loves and hates, from his love of pushing people into pools to bask in their helplessness to shitting his pants just before going on TV and hiding it with his jacket. But the most iconic and pervasive rumor is that Vince McMahon hates sneezing. He does not allow anyone to see him do it himself and he allegedly will kick others out of the room if they sneeze in front of him. And this is not a germaphobe thing; read above where Vince walked out in front of a crowd with a dook in his drawers.

As confirmed by Stephanie McMahon and Paul Heyman, Vince McMahon’s sneezing obsession lies fully in his demand for control. Sneezing is completely involuntary, unpredictable and vulnerable, three things that Vince does not believe should apply to him. As for those around him sneezing, by showing weakness, they find themselves unworthy to be in his alpha-to-the-nth-degree presence.

On the surface, this story is quaint. It’s a manifestation of an obsessive personality, a cute little feature of a workaholic control freak. But as we’re learning now, Vince McMahon’s anti-sneezing policy is as much about his complete lack of understanding of illness as it is about maintaining the illusion of control.

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The WWE has continued taping weekly shows and pay-per-views in the wake of COVID-19, first doing so with no fans in attendance at the Performance Center in Florida, then using developmental talent to serve as the “crowd.” Those in these crowds are not seen with masks and are freely shouting encouragement to the wrestlers, reacting as a normal crowd would and standing in relative proximity. And now one of them has tested positive.

In a vacuum, this could be viewed as an unfortunate coincidence, a stray positive test among many positive tests of wrestlers who quarantined themselves. But that is not at all the case. In fact, by all accounts, this wrestler’s test was the first test PERIOD, not just the first test to come back positive. And they allegedly had this test administered on their own time, on their own dime, independently. In other words, WWE did not do any COVID testing at all prior to this.

Back in May, it was reported that Vince McMahon viewed coronavirus as a nuisance, not a worldwide crisis that demanded attention and action. Some have interpreted Vince’s attitude to sneezing, and illness in general, as evidence that McMahon views sickness as a “mind over matter” issue, and as such, taking action to prevent illness is a sign of weakness. That may very well be the case, but Vince McMahon’s career attitude seems more in line with brutal business man: it’s not mind over matter, it’s money over everything. Perhaps he just doesn’t think anyone should sacrifice money-making hours to nurse themselves back to health.

But the one big issue in Vince McMahon’s COVID response is his refusal to have the manufactured crowds wear masks. Doing so would not affect his dollar one iota and could, in theory, lend an air of real-world humanity often lacking in WWE programming. But instead, they took minimal measures behind the scenes (WWE claims) without showing them on screen.

So they did not just fail to enforce a mask policy, they flat-out refused to let their talent wear masks. That points strongly to a statement being made by the company, particularly McMahon — a statement attempt to display strength, all the while putting others in danger.

If this John Oliver piece from last year did not convince you that Vince McMahon is not endearingly quirky, but rather a complicated psychopath, then maybe this live and in-color look at his respect for others’ health will.

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