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Tommy G, Supporter of Very Fake Conspiracy Theory, Committed a Very Real Bank Robbery

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Tommy G, also known as Tommy Gelati, also known as that idiot on Twitter who infrequently talks about DFS in between stupidity breaks spouting conspiracy theorist nonsense, was outed by The Daily Beast today as a former bank robber. Apparently back in 2004 Tommy G was just a lowly bank clerk with a gambling problem. Things got so bad that, as Tommy told it to the Bergen Record at the time “They started threatening my family. They said they were going to kill my mom and I didn’t know what else I could do, so I did the wrong thing.”

Showing the kind of critical thinking skills that lead one to become a vocal supporter of something as stupid and pointless as QAnon, apparently that “wrong thing” was robbing the bank that he worked at. Tommy G and two of his equally brilliant friends hatched a plan to stage a phony robbery while Tommy was working in order to steal the money needed to cover his gambling debts.

The pretend robber would hand over a note that was written by Tommy G himself, reading: “React in any way, and I’ll kill you and your mother…” and so on. The note also included the detail “I worked at banks before, so I know there’s at least 10 to 15K in each register,” because when you’re committing a felony it’s important to give investigators as much information as possible about yourself. Judging by their decision to appoint Tommy G as the one to concoct the plan in the first place, we were never exactly dealing with Oceans’ 11 here.

They were able to get $230,000 from the bank, briefly. The FBI investigator assigned to the case noted both that the amount was large for a robbery of this nature, suggesting a poorly conceived inside job, and that they had included the details about working at the bank in their note. Tommy G cracked under questioning and later openly wept in court while begging for mercy. He served 18 months in jail for conspiracy to commit bank robbery.

If you’re not familiar, QAnon is a conspiracy theorist group, considered a potential domestic terrorist threat by the FBI, made up of lonely people online who feel a desperate need to belong to something, even something as mindbogglingly stupid and make believe as the idea that Donald Trump and a secret group of dedicated agents have, all this time, been rooting out an international ring of pedophiles, who all happen to be prominent Democrats, media figures or socially liberal individuals in a sweep called “The Storm” a move on which they’re really running out the clock.

These are the same geniuses who drove an idiot to take a pizza place in Washington D.C. hostage with his AR-15 in 2016 because he believed “Cheese Pizza” was code for child pornography. And because, like Tommy G, he believed that it’s not terrorism if a white american male with a gun does it.

This is the level of intellect that we’re dealing with here, and Tommy G is their leader. Well, one of them. He was one of the first prominent Q-associated figures to start pushing the hilariously stupid recent Wayfair Conspiracy Theory. The idea being that no one would ever spend the amounts of money that Wayfair was charging for fancy furniture, so therefore they were clearly selling children. Leaps like that are understandable from someone whose solution to a bad situation was to commit a felony with a plan out of a screenplay that was rejected for being too unbelievably stupid.

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A prominent mouthpiece of bile, hate and idiocy on his Twitter handle and whatever other formats he might use to shout his invalid idiotic opinions into the void, the story in The Daily Beast tells it that Tommy G has been known to tout the Q theory that “top celebrities torture children for ‘adrenochrome,’ a substance conspiracy theorists believe contains magical life-giving powers.” I wonder what his thoughts are on BvP for MLB DFS, probably a big believer.

Did I mention that this brain surgeon of a DFS tout is also openly desperately pathetically anti-mask during our currently still rising pandemic? I’ll say it openly, people like Tommy G are why people around the country are still contracting, and dying of, Covid-19. Tommy G, if you’re reading this, put a mask on you fucking idiot, what more evidence do you need? Even your fearless leader in the White House is saying it now in his last desperate grasp at re-election.

Masks save lives, Tommy G. Black lives matter, Tommy G. QAnon is a joke that originated on 4Chan, Tommy G. You’re basing your life on a bunch of idiotic nonsense and people laugh at you, Tommy G. And the sad part is, I think you know it. I think you’re so deep into it that you can’t find your way out and in your shame you’re just digging in. There’s nothing wrong with just saying “I was wrong. This is obviously nonsense.” It’s what a real man would do.

Anyway, this vile piece of human garbage is apparently also a convicted felon. While we believe in second chances around here, Tommy G seems remorseless in his attacks on decent humanity. If someone chooses to isolate themselves in a cocoon of conspiracy, stupidity and hate, they don’t deserve society’s consideration or respect. The more that people like Tommy G are shouted down by stories like what The Daily Beast reported today, the better off we’ll all be. This isn’t about politics, it’s about fact vs. fiction. And the fact is, by promoting this dangerous fiction, Tommy G and his friends in QAnon have helped damage American society while blanketing themselves in the comfort of false patriotism through make believe.

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