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Ron Perlman vs the GOP is the Best Thing on Twitter This Week

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SONS OF ANARCHY-- Andare Pescare -- Episode 509 (Airs Tuesday, November 6, 10:00 pm e/p) -- Pictured: Ron Perlman as Clarence 'Clay' Morrow -- CR: Prashant Gupta/FX

Some people think actors just need to shut up and act. I, for one, could go for a bit more of Hellboy himself, Ron Perlman, sounding off and taking on some of the worst the GOP has to offer. Since Friday, the 70-year-old actor, best known for his role as the comic book demon or his lead part in the hit television series Sons of Anarchy, has been dueling with Republican politicians — who apparently have nothing more important going on — on and off via Twitter.

It was Perlman’s role on Sons of Anarchy, playing the white supremacist leader of a biker gang, that sparked the initial feud with Republican Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz. Gaetz is a slimy politician whose entries for scandals on his Wikipedia page is only a couple items short of equaling the length of the list of his reprehensible political positions. If you don’t remember Gaetz, he’s the drunk-driving, holocaust-denier-befriending, gun-loving, anti-gay, anti-immigra … wait, I already said Republican, didn’t I? Anyway, Gaetz was the guy who led the security breach of the Sensitive Information Facility Room on Capitol Hill during the impeachment hearings.

On top of all his other problems, Gaetz apparently doesn’t understand how acting works or that television and movies aren’t real life. The dimwit demonstrated this disconnect in a Tweet tagging Perlman, which the actor was quick to jump on with a dynamite reply.

The “sir” is a phenomenal touch. Respect the office, not the man. A smart politician would have gotten out right here, but again, Republican.

Perlman would go on crushing it over the course of the afternoon, with Gaetz just stepping on the rake again and again.

And then at 1:42 a.m. EST, professional political punching bag, Senator Ted Cruz, decided to interject and take the comedy to a whole new level by challenging Perlman to a wrestling match … with Congressman Jim “Gym” Jordan.

There’s just so much to unpack here. For one, I would love to see the list of what Ted Cruz considers to be “non-political” charities. Plus the fact that … just … WHO challenges someone to a fight with someone else?! Or, as the brilliant Rex Chapman put it:

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Perlman, for his part, considered the offer and countered with a reasonable proposal. Although Black Lives Matter is probably so obviously on Ted’s list of “No” organizations that he wouldn’t even bother to write it.

Cruz responded exactly the way a weak toadie does in this situation, by flinging desperate unfunny insults and calling the other guy scared. He’s just not good at this when he doesn’t have his pals to back him up. I think I’d be in for few grand to charity to see Perlman pile-drive this pinhead.

Cruz may or may not have finally decided he can’t win this one and had better shut his mouth. The last shot fired as of yesterday evening was from Perlman, with a new counter pulling Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell in for an odd-man match.

You know, as ridiculous Twitter feuds go this one is pretty great, but it’s also a much better example of a good faith negotiation than what we’re seeing from MLB owners right now.

We actually found footage of Senator McConnell’s fighting style.

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