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Examining 8 Leading Contenders for the New Name of Washington’s NFL Team

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The Washington NFL team is currently undergoing a “thorough review” of their team’s racist name. To be clear, this is like flipping a coin and conducting a thorough review of which side was facing up when it landed. This is binary and easy, there is a right and a wrong here and everyone knows which is which.

The time might finally be right for a name change to happen. Studies conducted in previous years showed, at best, a general antipathy toward the idea of changing the team’s name, despite generally consistent survey numbers indicating that the majority of the Native American community finds the name at least somewhat offensive. The most recent published study, conducted at UC Berkeley, found that only 38% of self-identified Native Americans were “not bothered” by the name.

There is plenty of buzz going around that this is actually going to happen this time and new coach Ron Rivera said that they had kicked some names around and “came up with a few names, two of which I really like.” Rivera would tell the Washington Post over the weekend that the two most important factors in the team’s new name would be “that it is respectful of Native American culture and traditions and also a tribute to the military.” If you know anything about U.S. history, that’s already a tiny needle to thread unless you’re leaving one of those two groups out entirely.

It’s difficult to know exactly how much credit the team even deserves here. They’ve known for 30 years that the name needed to change. They are quite clearly caving in not to national pressure in the streets but to pressure from on high, aka sponsors. In particular, Nike removed all of the team’s merchandise from its website; and FedEx, the company that paid $205 million for the naming rights to the team’s field in 1999, formally requested that the team change their name, with a spokesman referring to the franchise as “the team in Washington” in a statement.

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For his part, team owner Daniel Snyder, as recently as 2013, is on record with USA Today as saying “We’ll never change the name. It’s that simple. NEVER – you can use caps.” However in a statement last week Snyder said “This process allows the team to take into account not only the proud tradition and history of the franchise but also input from our alumni, the organization, sponsors, the National Football League and the local community it is proud to represent on and off the field,” as though he’d just thought of it.

Reconciling the idea that the name change will lead directly to millions of dollars in merchandise sales is difficult as well. Although, would it be entirely unreasonable to suggest that the team provide replacement gear to its fans free of charge? Or perhaps donate all revenue from new team merchandise sales to a Native American affiliated charity? So many better things to do with that money than triple-line Daniel Snyder’s pockets.

So what are the leading contenders for the new name? We took a look through some of the suggestions and the odds and picked our top choices. Picks with an asterisk are inserted by us, others are actual betting odds available at BetOnline.

Anything on John Cleese’s List: +5,000*

Monty Python’s own John Cleese made some incredible unusable suggestions on Twitter.

No Change: +2,500*

This one can’t be ruled out. We’ve been down this road with this franchise before. There has been pressure on this team for a name change since at least 1993, they have filed copyrights for different names that they’ve subsequently let expire, and they’ve shown an unwillingness to bend to history. The times could be changing, however. In June the team removed references to open bigot George Preston Marshall who founded and named the team in 1933. Marshall openly campaigned for segregation and was the last NFL owner to integrate his team, finally caving to league and public pressure in 1962, which you might recognize as way too fucking late.

Washington Pigskins: +1,500

Look, this guy has a really nice idea, some good graphic design skills and is donating the proceeds from all his merchandise sales to The American Indian College Fund (see, Daniel Snyder? I told you it can be done). People seem to like the idea that this name plays into both football and the team’s “Hogs” identity. Unfortunately, this would be like having a hockey team named the Pucks. It’s just not going to fly.

(image via linked site)

Washington Monuments: +800

This one is a pretty big stretch. We’re in the process of tearing down monuments, not building up new ones. Still, as a contrarian pick you could maybe do worse. There are plenty of people on the side of the statues, particularly one extremely online influencer who lives in the D.C. area for a little while longer. There is just enough to this name in that it hits the military, the Founding Fathers, and has that touch of non-comedy that the generally slow on the uptake seem to appreciate. It misses the mark widely enough to be realistic for an inept organization like this to choose is what I’m saying.

Even if this is the name, this will still be the coolest thing to ever happen with a Washington Monument:

Maybe the Washington Spider-Men? Eh, Disney would probably sue.

Jeffersons: +700 and Lincolns: +400

These two might have had a better shot a few years ago, today you would have a better chance of the Hamiltons. History has, quite fairly, not looked fondly on Thomas Jefferson lately. Our Founders were imperfect men in many ways, Jefferson included. What we need to understand and accept is that it is possible for a man to be both a great thinker and government-shaper and a slave-owning rapist. Definitely not the type of guy after whom you want to name your football team.

Lincoln is a bit more complicated. The man literally ended slavery, but a full review has to account for his problematic comments in 1858, when he said “I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the white and black races …” before continuing to detail the many many things he did not want Black people to have.

Washington Generals: +400

That this one is at odds even this low is hilarious. If you’re not familiar, the Washington Generals are the team that has famously lost all but three of their games against the Harlem Globetrotters since they were founded in 1952. The Generals are part of the act and not supposed to win their games. The idea of an actual professional franchise picking up this moniker would be like nicknaming a prizefighter “Canvas.”

Only this type of gambler would bet on this pick:

Washington Red Tails: +200

This one meets the team’s requirement about honoring the military and it works well with the existing color scheme, as we can see in this great mock-up uniform shot from Twitter.

Like a lot of history Americans are only now finding out about, you probably didn’t learn about the Red Tails in high school history class. If you don’t remember the fairly forgettable 2012 movie of the same name, the Red Tails was the nickname of the Tuskegee Airmen, the group of African American fighter pilots in WWII, who broke the color barrier in our then-segregated armed forces.

At least one important person weighed in on behalf of the Red Tails, quarterback Dwayne Haskins Jr. made it clear this is his favorite choice. This one seems to check multiple boxes, making it the favorite on the board.

Washington Warriors: +150*

BetOnline inexplicably doesn’t have this one on the board. To many, this seems like a slam dunk to be the choice, but we have to consider that it is only a couple degrees removed from the idea they’re getting at with the current name. A few misguided uniform and logo suggestions online quickly caught that theme and prompted responses from Native Americans about the quality of this specific pivot.

For their part, fans in the D.C. area seem to be on board with the Washington Warriors, and there’s no reason the name has to be related at all to Native Americans, removing the problematic part. The NBA’s Golden State Warriors have managed to not offend anyone … I think. D.C. sports talk figure Kevin Sheehan feels the Warriors is a lock, saying on his podcast that “I would bet big money on the Warriors being the new name for the football team.”

A 2013 contest held by a design company received 1,887 entries, fans overwhelmingly preferred the Warriors for the new franchise name, and owner Daniel Snyder has previously registered the trademark, although he claims it was for an Arena League team that never came to fruition. He has since let the copyright expire.

The existence of the NBA’s Warriors is probably the only thing stopping this alliterative name from being the choice. The smart money is on either Red Tails or Warriors at this point.

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